~On The Fence~

This entry is about a dream i had and what thoughts it provoked in me most of the day today...
I watched a movie called "Iris" while i got Christmas cards together for mom to sign. It was about a woman loosing her memory and her beloved mate trying his best to understand.It made me feel like he wasn't living his own life/reality...and she didn't or couldn't get him to see that.
They went thought" it " together...All the long days , all the sleepless nights...together. I
can relate to so much of that and see myself in that man.I'm a daughter helping my mother to remember and enjoy as much together as I can. I started thinking about when i was a little girl and my Mom & grandma would take my sister & I to this big mall at christmas and let us ride the merry-go-round.I'd pretend the horses were real and mom had to grab me off sometimes because I wouldn't budge!I grew-up with never having been to the same school for more then a year, so i really didn't have many friends and my 'Gma,Mom & sister were all I knew really...Mom was sick alot & we were rotated between parents .Some sad shit at times.
I recall me & mom going ice skating and she was great on the ice ,but today she couldn't remember ever skating at all...its like it was yesterday to me.I question my memory now and again,but more now then ever I just hold fast to whats in my own heart & mind .
Its my reality damb-it...Right!?