~The Golden Bear~

The things which a child(myself)loves remain in the domain of the heart until old age.The most beautiful thing in life is that our souls remain hovering over the places
where we once enjoyed ourselves........hence, "THE GOLDEN BEAR".

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~Charity~

The coin which you drop into The withered hand stretching toward you,
is the only "golden chain" that Binds your rich heart to the loving heart of God.........

Be Kind, Be brave and be loved!!!

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love...

All of my family is nothing but love today!

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~FALL IS HERE~

Someone once said: There is no greater joy,
nor reward than to make a fundamental differance n someones life......
I 'm happy to say my mother has made one for me.

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~1975~

When the thorn bush turns white thats when I'll come home,I am going out to see what i can sow,And i don't know where I'll go,But i don't know what I'll see,But I'll try not to bring it back home with me.Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me,As you watch me wander, curse the power that be,'Cos all i want is here and now,But its already been and gone,Our attentions always last that bit too long.Ooh ooh,Far far away, no voices sounding, no one around me, and you're still there.Far far away,no choices passing, no time confounding, and you're still there.In the Full moon's light i listen to the stream,And in between the sounds i still hear you calling me,But i don't know where i am,And i don't trust who I've been,And If i come home how will i ever leave?Ooh, ooh

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~Let Me Sign~

Its Time for my grandson to start "HIGH SCHOOL"....
My old high school
My daughters old high school
*****************TROUBLE*********************
Hey, Lets face it.....It was 1975ish and I was only there for a "MINUTE"........(not funny )
I was busy ....it was what everyone else was doing (ditching)
My Daughter must of found the same friends I had ............(not funny)
she was good too....she had me dropping her off in the morning!

I think daniel will really like high school...(lots of chicks) Plus he hs surfing for P.E.


Fall is here...Mom is holding her own & back at the center

Im enjoying the ride

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Back to normal!!!!!

Mom is all better and back at the center two days a week!
I'm not going to waiste one more moment of free time....I have LOTS TO DO!!!!!
bless everyone for the prayers.....xo

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Life

Herbs in Greek and Egyptian Myths and Folklore

Utnapishtim said to him, to Gilgamesh:
Gilgamesh, you came here;
you strained, you toiled.
What can I give you as you return to your land?
Let me uncover for you, Gilgamesh, a secret thing.
A secret of the gods let me tell you.
There is a plant. Its roots go deep, like the boxthorn;
Its spike will prick your hand like a bramble.
If you get your hands on that plant,
you'll have everlasting life.

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Misunderstood

whats the point in explaining my side of things if the person doesnt even love me enough to hear the truth

THE HEAT WAVE

ok....I dont know about you out there, but July was a tragic and one thing after another for my family.Ive never had so many things happen in a row.....geeezzzzzzzzzzzzz

1st:Mom went to my aunts house for the 4th and ended up slipping at the pool and cutting her leg.

2nd:my trip to san diego ended up a round a bout (reasons im trying to forget)so it was your basic drive there ...drive back.

3ed:Mom got dehydrated and went to hospital...ended up staying 2 weeks.

4th:My poor sister had 2 hudge panic attacks and ended up in the hospital also....

The up side was i got to see my niece and her boyfriend for the first time in years and for some reason im able to stay on my diet this time....hummmmmmmmmmmm go figure!
all is fine and thats all i have to say

DANCE IN THE RAIN

THANK YOU JOY...

This is really a special little story.

It was a busy morning, about 8:30 , when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived at the hospital to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is..' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have... I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. 'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

Summer time

Its June 28th already !Let see... there is so much to blog about that I was panicky....its hard to do the 24/7 care giver...daughter...mother...sister...ect.ect.

Well ill get started with telling you that Mom has gotten into the adult day center here in Huntington beach....
AND SHE LIKES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahaha
All the people in our life right now are a blessing.....I cant find the words to express how they all have guided me in the early days. Sounds funny now in a way.My fathers wife Joy is a wonderful supporter and gets me back on track when the tuff times come

Now i have time to grasp some sort of game plan for me & mom and the family.
1- .My grandson made it through 8th grade...
2-my son Austin is doing fantastic and has a good start after collage
3-my daughter & her Jason just moved into a new place
4-Mom is spending the 4th of july with my rock...my aunt Patsy
5-Im alone for the weekend***********************on that note ill park this pen & get some sleep

Mother and poohpurdo

Mom and Poohpurdo...
They become so close and mom treats him just like a baby....Its so great!
She forgets more often now ; but not pooh or 5-o'clock bed time......!!! -
She waits for calls that dont come often but pooh takes the place of some empty times....
***************I love her!

Missing family

forgive and forget

Alls I can Say is...

I'm so happy that my mothers skin cancer is better...!
I really do my best to do the up keep on both of us,All thought i could use a long vacation at a health spa/diet island.......!hahaha
I'm missing my spa dayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bad!!
**************there will be plenty of time for that***************

What a loss to stupid people

I give up... family is who your with...I will never forgive the people who didnt call my mom on easter......its on

Its here,"Easter". When mom wakes up she has a big basket and plenty of all the goodies one could want! Then off to church , after that i'm expacting my son to visit. It should be a nice day!

April...

These day's i sit on corner stones and think about the thing's i should of done...(Jackson brown)
Its the 1st and i dont feel foolish...i feel sad that my family is so broken.It sure would be nice if
we could all mend whatever went wrong and spend alittle quality time together befor mom can't remember whos who.....x

Latenight prayers

Its spring,so why is there so much on my mind...Mom,My daughter and everyday things.
In 1996 my home was in a flood and i lost everything (my mind ).To this day i have things in boxes and cant look at it without feeling sick.
The first person to come was danny(son-in-law)
my Mom was there for me.I couldnt even make coffee.
I got out with my Poohpurdo (cat)
a pair of sweats and a pair of cowboy boots.
5 ft of sewer water destroyed my Art,all my pictures of family and my pride.
My mom was there to help for moral support and Fema was there to tell me my things were worth 4k.
I was devistated and lost my eyebrows...of all things!
its been a long time but when i woke up i could still smell the mold . my son was 13 at the time and my grandson was 2mo.this is the first time i wrote about this...god doesnt have a watch and i guess its time to let that go to make room for all the changes to come...what doest kill you makes you stronger and numb.

The Best Friends Along the way

I've been so blessed by a wonderful woman from the "Caregivers Resource Center" I felt the need to give her a shout-out to the friends who read my blog...
S he's "Katie Ruebsamen" ...Thank You so much for your guidance & support!!!!

Its so important to have a friend who can offer support & great information!

Thank you

LOOKING FANTASTIC

Top of the morning to ya....

This catholic holliday has been another great day with mom...we got up and got all cleaned up and I must say...we looked great !Mom's first appointment was with her dermatologist.Mom has had better check-ups regarding her skin cancer .
We learned that at this age ,she needs to go every 3/4 months...(that works for me)
After a few pictures and some consultation we were all done till next month.
Mom was excited to get to her "ICE TEA" and early dinner.Its neet ,because mom really gets a kick out of eating out on the town(not that im a bad cook mind you)and getting her all dressed-up is a "Occation".We are not Irish , but what good "scottish" girl would miss a chance to dress up mom & have a great meal all in the name of a Saint (of snakes)...We are Prodesent so if im wrong ill email history channel about it...
I cherish the time I spend with her and whatever the holliday/occation/or reason i will get up,put a smile on her face and will have the best time i can provide for our life as it is ....and its a good life for
now.What she will recall I dont know, but ill remember everything .

All together now!!

Today mom and i went to visit the alzheimers adult day center here in huntington beach.Its wonderful and so modern and clean.I know mom will love it.she is shy but opens up after a few visits so im sure shell bloom like a flower !! she needs friends and she will meet them there im sure.
I will be able to get back to work ,part time enyway.And it will give us much needed time on our own.the waiting list is 3/4 weeks but thats a drop in the bucket, its worth the wait!!

new update...

Its been a rough three weeks ...mom has a real hard time with change, and ive made some real changes .! New sofa bed (1k sofa sleeper for 250. at ikea) who sees the back ??? other then the wall.I now need to heal my cronic sciatica and get back at school. Mom got so messed up by the change in couches she threw-up in her dinner, It didnt matter though, i need to sleep well to care for her .its starting to get hard and we are up alot .I need my sleep ,plus it was a great deal. shell get usto it...infact shes sitting on it watching me........goodtimes

Change is a good thing ...in small doeses

Today mom & me decided to update my sleeping arangments.I can no longer sleep on the couch without being a grumpy bear when i wake up!! so mom watched me lift,sweat,cry in agony when i had to lift the "hand made "T.V." stand"...Ok......heres the thing....im not a mover.my mom wont move a thing.her house has been in the same basic design for 20 years...if you move it,she will move it back,period.
The change was small enough that she wont be confused...although she wanted to know where i put her type writer (why under the bed of course)haha
We seem to be getting ready for the new year ahead of us.I love my mother...she loves me

crashing computers ...

thats what ive been doing ,getting back online.Man! did i learn alot ! haha
when it says don't touch...it means don't touch! haha

This is the real me...

I just felt like this picture tonight...x

A new year...A new point of view

This year "2009"is starting out to be the holy grail of information for me...There are so many resources that are out there if you really stay focused & ask questions,"ASK QUESTIONS"!
#1:The Alzheimer's association...The amount of current information you can get is amazing!
Everything from "what to expect" to classes for caregivers ...(even if your family).
I started out finding "Linkages"...they really help you find options and resources in the Orange county area.They help with all the forms you'll need to fill out if your on your own like me. Thank God for for these resources...I can't thank them enough.I'm now able to have a basic plan of action and will get along without fear of the unknown. (for now)

~GETTING BACK IN THE SWING OF THING'S~

It's funny to think that starting school again would be such a big deal for me...(its only been 30yrs)...I've wanted to do this for so long,but always found a reason not too. I've been given the great chance to start on a new path of enlightenment,A chance at finding something I really want to do.It's not a matter of making better money,but making a better me...
Tonight Mon did real good with the new caregiver ,and I think this might just work out.It's a matter of reaching out and taking control of a better future for mom & me.
If I'm doing something I want & need for me(even if its only 2 times a week)It's going to make all the hard and sad times easer & all the great times greater!!
Mom really need's time away from me as well,I can be stressed at times and we get to dependent on each other. Mon will be starting her Adult day center soon so she will be getting out more.
This year has been rather depressing so far...BUT the future look's bright!